Tuesday, November 20, 2007

How the toaster ruined my day

So last night, about 20 minutes before I had to be at school, I decided to toast some of the baguette that I bought. Well, the toaster and I have vastly different ideas of what is considered a "medium" toasting - I usually have to I toast twice to get the desired effect. So last night, I stuck the bread in, set the timer for "dark" so that it would be medium, and ran upstairs to change for class. Much to my surprise, the toaster actually came through this time. Only, instead of a solid medium toasting, I got crouton-esque little pieces of bread. Since I waited until the last minute to eat before class, I decided to throw some peanut butter on those bad boys and scarf them down before running out of the house. The problem here being that the bread ripped the ever-living-crap out of the roof of my mouth.

I woke up today realizing that the roof of my mouth is like one big raspberry burn. As I was eating my lunch my mouth hurt so bad, I could hardly chew. Damn toaster! I swear if you ruin Thanksgiving dinner for me, I will Michael Bolton from Office Space your ass!! Seriously, I am not kidding. I will have to make up a good story to tell Adam what happened to his toaster, but I am ingenious and will come up with some thing clever. Like, "Adam , your toaster spontaneously exploded??" Or maybe, "Adam, someone broke into the house and stole your toaster!! Yeah, I don't know. No, they didn't take your 42" Plasma T.V. Well, no, they didn't take the $20,000 Tom has in cash in his sock drawer. No... Look now, they just took your toaster, damnit! quit asking so many questions!"

Yeah he'll totally believe it.


JOY said...

Oh Gosh! How awful burns can be really painful especially somewhere sensitive like you mouth.

I really hope it heals in time for your Thanksgiving Dinner.

Happy Thanksgiving.

tom said...

Plus, it's always complaining when it has to toast something. What the f is PC Load Letter?